Hey ho. It's been a pretty grand year for gaming. Rather than do a list of 10 (I've probably played about 4 actual contenders this year), I'm going to be a difficult git and make a mockery of awards in general. So, here's my gongs. Please note, I'm including games from other years that I've came to in 2015. Because.

And... spoilers.

Scumbag of the Year

This one's odd. I spent a ton of time playing Metal Gear Solid V this year and, to be honest, I thought Skullface's villainy was kinda cool. Its a shame you don't really see much of him til the excellent jeep ride. He has some clear motives and a very, very blunt pair of weapons at his disposal. As a result, you get a well-spoken freak with a huge hankering for genocide. He also falls into the same traps as any standard Bond villain. He explains it all when he thinks he has you captured and would rather use his giant robot to kill you rather than a helipad full of armed, loaded goons. He's an idiot but it beats Liquid Snake's 'getting back at Daddy' arc.

Unfortunately, Skullface can't surpass a fellow cast member. A bespectacled technocrat who we discover is a real shitehawk. Whilst Skullface's plans were grand, the actual impact of them were shut out before they could come to fruition. Huey Emmerich, in contrast, got his horrible misdemeanors underway pretty swiftly. Murdering his other half and keeping the corpse in his office is some serious Norman Bates territory. And, whether by accident or intent, he sparked a second virus outbreak in one of the more affecting moments of the game. I don't think its ever stated whether Huey sold the Dogs out in Ground Zeroes but he's shown in the sequel he's a capable saboteur. And, for that, he almost earns this.

I say almost. This year I also played Walking Dead's second series. As it was free on PS Plus I decided to finally pop my Telltale cherry. This award goes to one person who did one thing in the latter episodes which elicited a four-letter response that rhymes with 'punt'.

Arvo!

Motherfucker.

My Own Personal Vietnam... of the Year

This one goes out to all those games I've persevered with in spite of them. Luckily, there's like, two contenders so I'll get the runner up out of the way.

OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood is a game that taps into the Trials receptors in my dumb, useless brain. Its a game that I enjoy succeeding at but, to get there I need countless retries and a slice of luck to get there. Y'see, I'm not good at it. Every time I boot it up, I immediately move the right stick to ollie because Skate has programmed me that way. After that I'm focusing solely on the board to time landings and, rather stupidly, I'm pushing off after some landings because, again, Skate and Tony Hawk have trained me to do such. When I play these levels I'm just looking to clear them. I'm not playing for objectives, fancy combos or tricks. I am Mr. Bare Minimum. I cannot manage that. Yet, I'll still keep revisiting it.

But if OlliOlli2 is the boot camp then Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin is the killing fields. Now, this is the year where I've really clicked with From's Souls series and, after clearing Dark Souls in the spring I moved on to its expanded sequel. I was well aware this is the lesser liked of the series but I also figured those into Dark Souls 2 were devoted followers so there must be something to it. 20 hours of gameplay have since passed. I'm not sold on it.

I saw Dark Souls as training for the remainder of the series. I thought I had that formula figured out. What From decided to do was to change that formula just enough to piss me off. Mobs are present from the outset. Not little fodder mobs but actual mobs that take time to dispatch or flee from. They'll take three hits to go down. You're down in two. Armour doesn't seem to impact your defence enough to matter and there's now more stats to consider when leveling up. I felt helpless and it only got worse once I got to the Pursuer.

God, I hate him. He's recognised as the hardest boss you'll face in the early stages and the rise in difficulty is enough to depress anybody. Especially if you go toe-to-toe with him. Dispatching him with the balistas seems like the way they intend you to do it and that's a damn shame. And if that boss isn't daunting enough, the sheer size of the world will scare you off a cliff. Dark Souls had its branching paths, especially from Firelink Shrine but there was a definite pathway through that game that you could get funneled down rather quickly. Everyone goes for the skeletons, gets schooled by them and then picks another way. Find the right path and you're on it mostly til your first main objective is complete.

Dark Souls 2 does not display this kind of care. You've got a recognisable first area from Majula and then it... sorta teleports you to the Lost Bastille and dead-ends you. Actually, I should make it clear that in the vanilla game you can go straight for the Sentinels but Scholar of the First Sin places a statue in your way. Great. So you're left with Tower of Flame which is mostly death aside from an easy boss. Its so disjointed and carries no real flow and that feels like the game's biggest problem.

But I press on. I'll come through it with a 100-yard stare and speak none of it to the kids. YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN! THE SKELETONS BECAME MORE SMALLER SKELETONS! ON FIRE!

Swerve of the Year

An award reserved for those that go where I least expected. I can only honestly think of one.

I expected Haruka to be more likely to pick up a gun than a microphone. She may still do but the way in which Yakuza 5 accommodates her new occupation into gameplay is quite nuts. Yakuza's a brawler at heart and reminds me of River City Ransom with its rewarding battles with cash and the way random enemies will just show up and challenge you to a fight after seemingly unrelated small talk. Whilst Haruka's time in town is not marred with, "Nice weather we're having... YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" its populated by like-minded girls all trying to dance in public like a one-person flashmob. I've just described a sad thing but in practice it works. I'm terrified with how much of that section I'm getting done. I've done half the jobs already and I'm googling to see if Japanese TV actually has a show that exclusively shows children running.

On top of that, the story's gotten weird. Your boss is clearly living past glories through you and is threatening to bulldoze your orphanage('s funding) because you need MOTIVATION to succeed at the Princess League. What a sentence. This is a Yakuza game. It's usually about gangland politics and key players standing at windows and being shot moments before they can tell you vital information. Now it's Mean Girls for five hours. Why do we need Shenmue 3 again?

Miss Shake-Hands-Man 2.

Moment of Triumph 2K15

I was considering calling this 'Boss of the Year' but I've played through some memorable ones. Sehalanthropus is probably the only boss encounter Metal Gear Solid V gets spot on. The earlier hide and seek with it felt tense but wound up being awfully gamey. The final showdown had a real sense of weight and scale to it as he chased you down and went through various forms. Landing the final hit felt satisfying.

Same could be said for Bloodborne's Wet Nurse. Whilst the boss itself didn't carry an Ornstein and Smough level of challenge, it served as the culmination of weeks of effort. Probably should've mentioned this but all my ventures into the Souls games have carried with it the early struggle. The bosses in Bloodborne carry a consistent challenge to them that emphasise execution in a way that feels really good when you manage to hook it up. It might take this, had I not had a Souls game under my belt.

This year the winner has to be Dark Souls. I can go back to that game now and breeze through the first half but that first playthrough had some legitimately rough brick walls. Bell Gargoyles feel like a mock exam as you try to keep them within sight and find your opening. Ornstein and Smough is the real mid-term exam where you're tasked with two very different foes and asked to focus on one whilst being aware of the other. These two challenges took me hours and the game's good enough to make you return for one last shot.

The final exam comes by way of Gwynn. He's agile, carries a lot of range and power. I just remember running through his area feeling exhausted and, when I finally felled him, I may have let the neighbours hear about it. And then your reward for it is one-shotting the Asylum Demon in NG+. Thank you very much.

DLC-Related Calamity of the Year

A joint winner for this award. Firstly, let's revisit Dark Souls one last time. I have never played the DLC. Last time I tried to do this, I followed all the steps. I beat the Hydra, got the pendant and then found the crystal golem. Two hits should be enough to free Dusk and she'll be all, "Check out my magic mushroom time travel powers, son!"

I hit her three times. Farewell. Bugger.

That said, I'm not sure it can outright topple my attempt to play the Nighmare on North Point DLC for Sleeping Dogs. This seemed like a good idea for my Extra Life stream so, at around 2am I finish .. whatever I played before it and slip the disc into my PS4. It doesn't sound too healthy. It not loading very well. Have I just killed my PS4 with this 24 hour stream?

I try again. Same problem. This time the disc fails to eject. Oh, shit. After a few frantic minutes, its out. I look at the disc and its clear that I've given it a whack at some point. Damn. So I'm in need of a plan B. I make a terrible choice. Who's up for some sleep-deprived Geometry Wars!? 3 minutes followed by an audible, "I can't do this." So faced with a brain that can't be arsed with anything sudden and a PS4 that may or may not be dying, Plan C. Contradiction.

Four hours of Contradiction. No audio. 90 minutes ahead of my scheduled end, I call it quits. It all started with that DLC.

Now I'll never pick that bag up.