Unconfirmed report of a Seth Rogen solo Donkey Kong movie confirms all fears

According to GiantFreakinRobot, a source told the website that a Donkey Kong solo film starring Seth Rogen as the large ape is currently in the works. This would make some sense since Rogen is already the voice of DK in the upcoming Mario Bros. movie.

The report however doesn't go into any more details and doesn't give much else for believability. So it comes down to how cynical you believe the movie industry is and if this reporter's source is legit.

Doesn't take much to convince me that the movie studio behind Minions also sees the most popular Nintendo characters as a potential gold mine. The Mario characters are already set up to have a ready-made cinematic universe.

How excited are you to watch a good half dozen films quickly tossed out into the box office as the entire idea slowly melts down into a series of Universal Studios rides and maybe, if we're really lucky, a Mario Bros. Movie The Game?

Why is this something to fear?

The movies might be bad. Arguably they are likely to be bad. But if they are we can just...not watch them. They don't affect anything. You can argue that the licensed franchise model of moviemaking is bad, and I'd agree with that, movies have really degraded in quality since everything has to be based on a property and sellable overseas, but that ship has already sailed. We are already in an age of almost no original movies.

So my reaction to this is a giant shrug. If the movies look bad based on reviews and trailers I won't see them. If they appear to be good I probably will. I'm not excited, but I don't get excited about kids movies anyway at this point in my life.

The last Mortal Kombat movie was pretty mediocre and it didn't hurt anything I care about. Mario and Donkey Kong will be fine as franchises. The movies can safely be ignored.

Donkey Kong had a whole-ass horrifying CG TV show and came out just fine. This is overblown

@bigsocrates: Hyperbole.

But I also don't enjoy seeing two movies potentially getting funded, being jammed full of random celebrities, and shoved out as quickly as possible. Maybe the studio and people behind these movies have great intentions and it'll end up being a fun film to watch. But I also remember the deluge of animated films that have come out with random celebrities attached to them that have come and gone with little to no fanfare or prestige.

@bigsocrates: It's weird that the videogame industry/community just has had this weird, cyclical anti-logic for ~20 years of desperately wanting approval through films, despite film being notoriously awful at translating videogames.

Like if you can't do a compelling movie about a bunch of supernatural ninjas, special ops soldiers, and a JCVD-style celebrity...I mean maybe the source isn't the problem?? Or a passion-project based on the most popular MMO on the planet from the director of "MOON" maybe...maybe videogames shouldn't be movies?

Every time people salivate over the prospect of a Metal Gear Solid movie, I can't help but think if they've heard of Metal Gear Solid 4, which contains 90 minute cutscenes. SCENES.

So I'm with you, I don't care if they cast all the mediocre white dudes in the world as videogame "icons," seeing as how said icons are already more "brand" than character. Like...what are people worried about them "ruining" about the stars of Donkey Kong 64?? It always comes off as more nerdy gatekeeping.

@finaldasa: I mean...you're justified in thinking that these movies might not be good based on what the priorities of the producers seem to be, but a lot of bad movies get made all the time and this is no different than that.

I guess I'm just pretty indifferent about these movies. My assumption is that all video game movies are going to be bad (though there are some notable exceptions) and that they don't really affect me one way or another, unless they're good in which case I'll watch them and enjoy them and that's a nice bonus. Or they're bad enough (MK: Annihilation) or weird enough (the REAL Super Mario Bros. movie starring Bob Hoskins) to be enjoyable on those terms, in which case they are also a nice bonus.

They made a mediocre Prince of Persia movie and a bad Assassin's Creed movie and neither of those affected their respective franchises as far as I can tell, so the Mario and Donkey Kong movies are just going to be more of the same schlock.

In terms of the broader structural point that it's bad that Hollywood is choosing projects this way, as I said I agree with you, but these specific projects aren't worse than plenty of others.

@bigsocrates: And I totally agree. I mainly posted this cause it was so bad it's funny. A Chris Pratt-led Mario movie that isn't out yet possibly has a spin-off already. It's beyond silly.

And like you, I wish video game movies were treated with any respect, anywhere, at any time. I don't think DK should be turned into some serious banana war (or maybe it should...) but something should be treated as more than a quick cash-in.

Listen I could only accept a shitty DK movie if I’m being honest.

Seth better roll right into the DK rap.

I look forward to 60 years from now when someone has to wax poetic about the Mario Cinematic Universe the same way people talk about Kurosawa films.

I mean, exaggerated hatred or fear of a pop culture thing is way more fun than a shrug. Unfortunately that's also all I can muster.

@shiyamiro: On a basic level that show pretty much worked. It’s not some great classic, but as a kids’ TV show it fleshed out the DK universe enough to be entertaining. I think they had to make up quite a few original villain characters since few are named in the game other than K. Rool, but to their credit the show overall seemed to stay in the spirit of Donkey Kong Country.

In retrospect, I’m also really curious how all the licensing between Nintendo, Rare, and Nelvana worked on that one.

@efesell: On the one hand you say you want a shitty Donkey Kong movie. On the other you say that the movie should include the DK rap. I don't understand how these two ideas can co-exist.

There's plenty of material for a good Donkey Kong movie. A scenario like that in Tropical Freeze could make for a fun kids' adventure flick, and the characters are so broad you can do a ton with them. There are fun characters like Ramby the Rhino and Enguarde.

The problem is that we're likely to see a rushed script and gimmicky celebrity cast rather than a carefully thought through film. Though the Sonic movie turned out fine so who really knows at this point. Seth Rogan as Donkey Kong is not as weird a choice as Chris Pratt as Mario.

Let Hollywood do what it wants with games. I still can't wrap my head around the furore over the Uncharted movie. Sure, the casting's not the Nathan Drake or Sully in the games but the tone looks right for it. It looks like the kind of thing my dad would buy (and enjoy) when he picks it up second hand in a few years time.

@efesell said:

Surprise! It's a musical! With the DK Rap as the main recurring theme!

Cinematic Universes are the hottest thing in movies right now. It's like every big Hollywood production now needs to have the potential to branch out into several separate franchises.

Unless there's a scene where he pounds on an enemy for a full minute in homage to the ground slap move he does that was cheap AF in the N64 Super Smash Bros game then I'm out.

@shindig: My Dad saw the trailer and remarked, “That looks fun!”

And to their credit the trailer did largely consist of a scene pulled almost shot for shot from Uncharted 3, making it by default one of the most accurate game adaptations yet.

As for The Mario Cinematic Universe, I will wait for a trailer.

What shocks me is Nintendo now just opening a flood gate of movies. Its like they saw Pokémon: Detective Pikachu (2019) actully did well for money and was beloved and it suddenly dawned on them that a movies is not "a lesser medium" than a $20 stuffed toy or Mario pot holders.

Chinese factory: "Can we make this Princess Peach Personal Vibrator?"

Nintendo: "Yeah, I guess, knock yourselves out?"

Hollywood: "Can we make a movies with Nintendo branded characters."

Nintendo: "Karera ga watashitachi no dentō to bunka o kono yō ni bujoku suru nante aete!"(Dare they insult our traditions and culture in this way!)

Is it going to be bad? Most likely.

Is it going to ruin the characters? Not really.

Is it a good idea? When has that ever stop them.

Is a spinoff of a barely announced movie premature? Yes, but it is not out of character for Hollywood, or Nintendo. Remember how they wanted to create a whole universe out of Amazing Spider Man 2? There was going to be a Sinister Six origin movie, a Venom movie, a Sally Fields' Aunt May solo movie, and a long list of etc. We are still getting a Mobius movie for some reason...

So, it is not a surprise. I am betting the moment they were negotiating the contract, Universal had a full room of marketing dolls sketching a whole Smash-like movie universe with everyone before the ink was dried. Given the names attached to this project, I am not discounting a Toad or Bowser solo movie coming soon.

How about we just wait until stuff actually comes out to judge it?

These movies seen to be targeting children so I'm not sure what's to be upset about.